The distractions of daily living can cause a couple to drift apart, with each partner slipping into their own separate rut. Over time they easily find themselves essentially living parallel lives, oblivious of each other’s needs. If this process is not recognized and confronted, the intimace that brought them together becomes vulnerable.
David and Vera Mace, founders of the Marriage Enrichment movement, had a simple antidote to this threat to a happy marriage. They considered a daily sharing time essential to a healthy, growing relationship. Together, they modeled how a couple could stay in tune with each other. Such sharing may occur at any time when the husband and wife have a few minutes of quiet in which to focus on each other. For some this is at the beginning of the day. For others, it may be in the evening.
So, with minimal effort any couple can follow this simple approach encouraged by David and Vera Mace.
The proccess is simple. Take a moment together each day. If possible, a leisurely visit together for a few minutes is ideal; but if all you have is a moment, take it. If your schedule does not permit you doing this every day, engage this focused time at least a few times each week. (Veronica and I do this over a cup of coffee in the morning just before we begin the activities of the day. It has made a major difference in our relationship during our 53 years of marriage.) During this time, ask each other these questions. No, you do not need to askeach question in detail each time. What is important is that you share the intent of each question with each other.
- How are you feeling about what has happened in your life over the past day or so?
- What plans do you have for the next 24 hours?
- Are you worried about any upcoming events or happenings?
- Are you aware of any issue in our relationship which we need to talk?
- If so, can we schedule a time when we ca discuss this?
- How can I pray for you?
Wayne Grant, MD.