Behaviors That Say “I love you.”

“Your actions speak louder than your words!”

Although this proverbial statement is not always true, it is, more often than not, true when it comes to relationships in the family. This statement makes an important point: Words are important in communication love, but actions give validity to the words.

When we said our vows during the wedding ceremony, we promised to take each other for better or worse. Unfortunately, as time clouds our good intentions of intimacy and commitment, we easily slip into a pattern of neglect. This “taking each other for granted” is one of the greatest dangers facing a marriage.

For a marriage to stay alive, vibrant, and healthy energy input is required. Our intentional actions to show our love to each other are the fuel that fans the flame of love and commitment. Attention to these little things shields the relationship from the danger of  being “taking for granted.”

A couple can, and should, form their own list of fuel that keeps the fire of their marriage burning. Here are some suggested actions that can serve as starters:

  1. Compliment your spouse in front of family and friends.
  2. Call during the day and tell you spouse something pleasant.
  3. Look your spouse in the eyes and tell her or him that you love the way he or she makes you feel.
  4. In the evening ask, “How did your day go?”
  5. If your schedule allows, meet for lunch occasionally.
  6. When sitting together, put your arm around your spouse. Physical touch is magnetic.
  7. Ask your spouse their opinion about something important—world affairs, suggested activities, or philosophical question.
  8. Ask your spouse, “What can I do for you today?”
  9. Give a hug more than once during the day.
  10. And, yes, say “I love you” many times during the day.

Each spouse can work on their own list—and, then, share the lists with each other. You likely will be surprised by the heat of passion this will generate.